Mise Eire

   Posted by: chris   in Fish Talk

Mise Eire

celtic tigerI am told by Wikipedia that Mise Eire means I am Ireland, I seem to remember Mr Dufficy in Gloucester College of Technology beating the same into me with the leg of a chair and the ring he had on his pinkie, he had this habit of sneaking up behind you and knuckling you on the head with it. No wonder they had to bring in a team of psychologists to see if we where all just inbred or stupid.

So as it turns out I was neither inbred nor stupid just scared shitless, but after 50 years of observing authority the scared has worn off and disbelief has set in.

Sadly I am no longer a resident of my motherland (some might say fortunately) however from reading the goings on and listening to Joe Duffy on Live Line it appears that a team of psychologist are needed to decide once and for all if the Irish are inbred or just stupid.

If you have been away on an arctic expedition for the last few years you might not be aware that the Celtic Tiger is suffering from a rare disorder which presents as a cross between foot in mouth disease and rabies. The politicians are exhibiting the foot in mouth and the public at large are frothing at the mouth and threatening to eat horse meat. The knacker/travelers/itinerants will revolt and then make a killing literally as they own all the horses. I had a dog once a pure bred doberman that cost me a pile of cash that got hook worm from eating horse poo and died in agony, remember this the next time you look at a horse rambling down the M1 and think steak for dinner.

Anyway enough of the rambling and soft day crap and on to Mise Eire and what went wrong and just who is to blame. As you read this remember that I was adjudged as non inbred and borderline intelligent by the Gloucester Street Academy tribunal.

What Caused this Stupid Meltdown

Or who shot the Tiger

The Celtic tiger was created by large corporations mostly American looking for an inexpensive backdoor into the lucrative market that is the EEC. Ireland with low corporate tax rates, unbelievable IDA grants/free money and a large population with free university degrees willing to work for peanuts at the time smelt like fresh blood to the corporate sharks who quickly crept under the sheets and inpregnated mother Ireland whith sweet talk and promises and the Celtic tiger was conceived.

The fuel that ignited the Celtic Tiger into the run away train that made Ireland the number 2 economy on earth and which eventually drove it off the rails at mind blowing speeds was interest rates.


When Ireland entered the single European currency the Euro a necessary part of the deal was to cede control over the Irish interest rates to Brussels.

However Ireland being a dot in the financial universe and the EEC being the love child of Germany and France it was only natural that economic policy for the Euro would be made with the large countries like Germany and France in mind.

As luck would have it when Ireland finally joined the Euro and gave up control over its monetary policy the Irish economy was overheating while at the same time the French and German economies where stalling.

Interest rates are the main tool a country has at its disposal to slow an overheating economy, unfortunately they are also the main tool a country has its disposal to heat up a stagnant economy.

Ireland was hot, France and Germany where cold so naturally with the French and German economies in mind interest rates in the Euro Zone where kept low.

So with artificially low interest rates the Celtic Tiger was a runaway train to nowhere being urged on by a citizenry who never had a pot to piss in eager to sit at the big table. House prices went up and up and up and up and then the American bubble burst and the rest is history.

What can the Politicians

The short and sweet answer is nothing, the reality is that the politicians despite their willingness to accept credit when the going was good had no input into the runaway Celtic tiger whose eventual crash is causing the misery now.

Will the IMF Save US

Imagine a person with no income who needs 100 a day just to survive. Now imagine that that person is behind on the 100 for 10 days, this means that he/she/the government is in debt to someone for 1000.

So the IMF comes into town riding on a white steed with a cheque (check in the US) for 1000 hands it over and just like that the debt crisis is over.

Unfortunately this sorry individual wakes up again tomorrow needing 100 just to survive, so he/she/the government goes to the drawer where they deposited the IMF cheque and to their surprise it is gone and then to add insult to misery the phone rings to inform them that NAMA (national asset management agency) has just unloaded another dozen overpriced semi detached houses and that the 100 that they used to need just to survive has somehow become 200.

Call the IMF quick, we need a fix.

What is Really Wrong

What really is wrong in Ireland is the same as what really is wrong in the States. Houses prices are still too high.

There is a term housing market which should be banned because there is actually no housing market.

With almost every other commodity known to man the price goes up when there is a shortage and goes down when there is an abundance. However because mostly houses are purchased using loans which are secured by the property the price of the house cannot drop below the amount of money secured by it.

The sad reality for most home owners is that they do not actually own the home that they believe they own, they are merely renting it from the bank and the monthly cheque they send the bank is not a mortgage payment but rent.

If houses where a commodity like oil, pork bellies or coffee there would be no problem and no meltdown.

What this means is that the problem is a banking problem. The smartest of the smart overcome by a lethal intoxicating brew of greed multiplied by arrogance squared decided that the housing boom was like a good cow that never stops giving and they lent and lent and lent and made huge profits.

Then the good cow and the runaway Celtic tiger collided and the end line is that the banks are in great shape and Mise Eire is pardon the French fucked.

What would I do

Is Albert Reynolds still alive, if he is install him as de facto dictator, install cowboy politics, take the money form the IMF, 80 billion I believe, divide it by 4 million and send a cheque for like 20,000 to every man woman and child in Ireland for reasons of “mental distress” sure if it’s good enough for David Drumm then I suppose it has to be good enough for the rest of us.

Then give the EEC the finger and go it alone, after all, all we really need from abroad is petrol so we could go into a strategic partnership with OPEC, take their oil in return for the knackers Arabian steeds.

The Moral of The Tale

If people cannot afford to live in the economy which they form and are an integral part then the economy is unworkable.

You do know that the economy is the people interacting, trading their skill sets and the products of their skill sets, oh! you thought it was the stock market, currency and commodity traders, well thats alright so does everybody else.

I guess it is OK to be stupid and believe any old crap when the going is good but man when the price of believing has to be paid we really need someone to blame. I wonder is the guillotine available for rent, forget the IMF call up Paris, no not Hilton, France, did you go to City Quay school too.

Be Sociable, Share!

Tags: ,

This entry was posted on Monday, November 22nd, 2010 at 2:40 pm and is filed under Fish Talk. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

One comment


Hi there I went to Townsend Street School where the nun’s used their strap belt and cane to trash us kids the blackboard hit my head more than once and the fingers continually pinched my cheeks. Thank god it was only the cheeks on my face that got the pinching. So I consider myself lucky.

December 5th, 2010 at 11:10 am

Leave a reply

Name (*)
Mail (will not be published) (*)